This is Catherine The Great. She was a legendary Empress of Russia and ruled longer than any other leader, and she did a damn good job by all accounts. People loved her, she worked hard, she was smart, and she was also one of the proudest motherfucking freaks in HISTORY. She proved to the world that just because you look a little like Lady John Lithgow does not mean you are undesirable, and just because you’re royalty does not mean you can’t be a horny goddess of filth.
There’s this rumor that Catherine’s biggest conquest was a literal goddamn horse, but historians believe that it’s just a sick rumor that some hating ass bitches made up because they were intimidated that a woman could not only be in charge of a country but of her own sexual predilections. HMM, THANK GOD TIMES HAVE CHANGED???
Anyway, Catherine used her money to finance this fuck pad room in her castle that was an homage to doin’ the nasty. Catherine’s Pinterest board must have looked like a fucking PornHub screenshot because this is what that beautiful proud slut decorated her lair with:
A chair that is so classically beautiful and…oh my damn…what in the hell..
IS THAT CHAIR SUCKING A DAMN DICK?
THAT IS THE DEVIL AND HE IS EATING A PUSSY LIKE HELLFIRE’S GONNA SHOOT OUT OF IT
YOU NOT A BAD BITCH UNLESS YOUR OFFICE CHAIR HAS A PANTALOON-LESS VULVA AIRING ITSELF OUT ON IT.
THERE ARE GIANT WANGS GROWING OUT OF GIANT CHI-CHIS HOLDING UP A CORNUCOPIA OF FINELY-CRAFTED, CLASSICAL ASS, BAROQUE ASS, ROCOCO ASS GENITALS. HOW THE FUCK YOU GONNA GO TO IKEA AFTER THIS SHIT?
I wish there were more pictures of the original pieces, but in the 50′s some uptight German Army dipshits destroyed her collection because it gave them shameful boners or something. An artist has recreated her utilitarian odes to fuck, but it is truly sad that we cultured skanks can never appreciate such high art in its original glory. Damn, Cathy. Respect.
THIS IS AMAZING.
Catherine the Great is my spirit animal for so many reasons, not least THIS.
I’m dying at
BAROQUE ASS
Puts a new spin on it lololloooolllllllll
Oh Catherine the Great, we never knew you… and what an awesome woman you are. :D
Welcome to the Russian Emporium of Finely Crafted Classical Fuck Furnishings
My Dad isn’t a bad person, he’s just… old fashioned.
This is so much the outlook by many men on a woman’s hormonal fluctuation. As if there is no control. No matter what, women cannot have control of their bodies.
Your dad tells the fucking truth. The last thing America needs is a woman in charge.
Sorry ladies, I’m just saying what we’re all thinking. Women are cuntwaffles during their period.
I’m willing to bet that most people who are irritable are so because they’re uncomfortable or in pain - it’s really hard to be level-headed when you’re in gut-tearing amounts of pain.
The hormonal argument is the biggest load of crap - as if males don’t have hormones or don’t have a hormonal cycle. Actually, male hormone cycles are more frequent and less predictable.
I’m not putting this out there to put one sex above the other but rather to point out that “hur hur hormones!!!” is a really ridiculous reason to discredit and entire group of people, especially when we all have hormones and hormonal cycles.
So we shouldn’t allow a woman president because she supposedly loses her shit and becomes hyperaggressive once a month, but we regularly give power to men who lose their shit and become hyperaggressive whenever a woman rejects their advances.
Seems legit.
I’m not trying to be sexist, but let me use this super archaic view on hormones, coupled with sexist slurs meant to oppress women, all in defense of not giving them power
hurr hurr we’re all thinking it tho amirite
EAT. MY. SHIT.
We can’t let women have power because once a month they turn into TOTAL… dudes.
I’ve said this before and I’ll point it out again -
Menstruation is caused by change in hormonal levels to stop the creation of a uterine lining and encourage the body to flush the lining out. The body does this by lowering estrogen levels and raising testosterone.
Or, to put it more plainly “That time of the month” is when female hormones most closely resemble male hormones. So if (cis) women aren’t suited to office at “That time of the month” then (cis) men are NEVER suited to office.
If you are a dude and don’t dig the ladies around you at their time of the month, just think! That is you all of the time.
And, on a final note, post-menopausal (cis) women are the most hormonally stable of all human demographics. They have fewer hormonal fluctuations of anyone, meaning older women like Hilary Clinton and Elizabeth Warren would theoretically be among the least likely candidates to make an irrational decision due to hormonal fluctuations, and if we were basing our leadership decisions on hormone levels, then only women over fifty should ever be allowed to hold office.
Figured I should finally post this! My fall thesis work, finished up in early December: I did book illustrations for Gísla Saga! It’s an Icelandic saga, written probably in the 13th century but chronicling events that supposedly took place in the 10th. It tells the story of Gisli, his brother Thorkell, and his two brothers-in-law Thorgrim and Vestein: ill will and fate unravel the relationships between the four of them and spell doom for each man in turn.
The whole project, with 7 more black-and-white illustrations, short summary text I wrote up, and some preliminary formatting can be read on my Behance HERE.
In 2011, I bought this mole skin journal, and wasn’t sure what to do with it, but I liked the way it felt, the paper and all it’s potential. At the same time I was being introduced to the genre of dub step, and listening to DeadMau5 and Trentemoller. The music got my hand going and with a fine point sharpie I started making these alien like designs. There are no lines that are drawn in these pieces, it is completely made up of tiny little dots. Which is why I named it the Dot Project.
Most of the time I was creating them during classes or any time I had to sit around wait. At this time in my life, I found that I didn’t have the patience to be in a classroom, to sit for a long time not doing much. I felt like I was 5 again, and the anxiety was often too much. The odd thing is that I never had this problem in middle or in high school. But suddenly in college, it was a problem, just sitting there, listening for one person droning on and on, the fluorescent lighting, and dusty air. Doing this project, in my binder tucked away in my notes actually helped me focus better. I could jot down notes on a piece of paper next to it, and then keep doodling away. The results where quite colorful!
I haven’t really touched this journal since, but the concepts I created here, I still use in my artwork today. You can find these works posted on my Facebook page as well.
2012! These were some fun projects I did with friends. But the door in the middle was my old bedroom door I painted at my parents house, they had a lot of my murals and art around the house haha!
This was the first painting I had done in two years, and was a result of a spiritual awakening. It was the start of what has been a slow process in growing confidence in myself as an artist and as a person trying to function in the world. I had painted it with no plan, completely improvised, simply enjoying the colors and seeing what my hands would do. Its a simple and cute piece, but to me it has a deep meaning. I hang it on my fireplace to remind me of where I came from, and the struggles I’ve had to just to be where I am today.
If you like my artwork, check me out on Facebook and follow my tag #artofelura
This is a collection of my personal favorites from the early years.
So far, the photographed artwork that I’ve displayed on the blog has been from my high school years. As an artist, I’ve struggled with valuing my older works. Usually older means outdated. Usually high school art is equated with ok manga drawings. There is no real theme, just a lot of practice, a lot of emerging, and a lot of being surprised at what I could actually do. Believe me, these are the better ones, I have hundreds of practice paintings and drawings that are chicken scratch.
I think its important to honor the hours and time you’ve put in perfecting your craft. I think it’s important to know where you came from. Most importantly I believe that you never really stop loving or being inspired by a lot of the same things you were when you were 5, 10, 15, and 20. Often times when I’m thinking about what I’m going to do with this blank canvas I will most likely be spending a 100 hours on, I look at my wall and see everything that I’ve loved before. Science, nature, the human body, space, old myths, and ancestry.
All of these pictures are posted to the blog and on my facebook, #artofelura
